


Not as you knew me. Will you still love me?

by Cameron_The_Great_1680



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Best Friends, Broody Carmilla, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Evil Step-Mother, F/F, F/M, G!P, G!P Carmilla, Other, POV Carmilla, POV Laura Hollis, sunshine laura hollis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-08-19 07:36:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8196199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cameron_The_Great_1680/pseuds/Cameron_The_Great_1680
Summary: Laura and Carmilla have been friends since they were 4. What happens after Camilla's father dies and her mother take a job 2,500 miles away. What happens when the meet again after 8 years. 7 years not communicating.





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Tell what you think. Im new at this. Its gonna be switching pov in the different characters. I am going to be telling it from past to present day. Except the very beginning of this chapter it will be the only time though. Enjoy

Present day  
“You really thought you could really get away with fooling me, really. Carm I know you” Laura says  
“Maybe. No I didn’t that’s why I was not really nice to you at first. I mean I have a lot that’s different now Laura.” Camilla says  
“Okay explain the whole thing to me. Camilla please. We never hid anything from each other when we were younger.” She says  
“Okay buckle up creampuff we're going to be in for a long night.” Camilla says  
\------  
Prologue  
16 years ago (AGE 4)  
Laura pov  
It was a warm Autumn day in Toronto. She was holding her mom’s hand as they walk to the park. There were some boys in the baseball field goofing around and only two other kids at the playground. One was a boy that was running around and playing like there was no tomorrow. The other was a girl just sitting in the sand building a castle.  
Laura looked up to her mom and tugged at her hand, when they got close enough, for permission to go play. Her mom smiled and let go of her hand. She took off towards the slide. When she went down it she heard sniffling. She followed the sound and saw the girl that was building a castle crying and the castle looked trampled. She walked up to the girl.  
“Are you okay” Laura asked  
The girl looks startled but then she just shook her head  
“No I’m fine. Just sad that boy over there ran over my castle and he didn’t even say sorry.” The girl said  
“Oh I’m sorry about that. If you want I can help you build one if you’d like” she said  
“I’d like that very much cupcake.” The girl said  
She confused at the nickname sat down next to the girl and grabbed one of the shovels the girl had.  
“Why did you call me cupcake?” Laura asked  
The girl pointed to her legging she had on.  
“Your pants have cupcakes on them. And I don’t know your name”  
“Oh. My name’s Laura. What’s yours.”  
“My name is Carmilla.”  
“C. a. r. m. i. l. l. a that’s hard to say. Can I call you Carm?” she asked  
“As long as I can call you cupcake.” Carmilla said with a smirk  
“Fine.” Laura said  
They work together building the castle. Asking each other questions. Or more like Laura was asking the question and Carmilla was answering  
“How old are you? I’m fowr and a half.” Laura said  
“I’m fowr too. But I’m gonna be five in two weeks.” Carmilla said  
“Are you in shool? I’m gonna go to shool next year”  
“No I’m gonna start next year too.”  
“Maybe we will be in the same class. Do you have any bruders or sisters. I don’t have any.”  
“Yeah I have a brother and a sister. My brother is the boy over there with dark hair like mines. He browt me here.”  
“That’s nice of him. My mom browt me here she’s in the bench over dare.”  
They were there for awhile. Just enjoying each others company.  
“You want to be my bestest friend Carm?” Laura asked  
“Sure cupcake.” Carmilla said  
“Come on. The castle done and I want my mom to meet my bestest friend.”  
“Okay.”  
They got up off the ground and dusted themselves off. Laura looked around for her mom. Once she spots her she takes Camilla’s hand and walks them over.  
“Hi sweetie, who’s this pretty girl with you?” Her mom asks  
“This is Carm she’s my bestest friend mama.” Laura says  
“Hello Carm. I’m Sara Laura's mom. Did my daughter shorten you name?” Sara greets the girl in front of her.  
“Hi Sara. Yeah she did said it was hard. It’s Carmilla ma'am.” Carmilla says  
“Nice to meet you Carmilla. Are your parents around maybe we could set up a playdate for you two, since you are bestest friends?” Sara asked  
“No but my bruder is over at the baseball field.” She says  
“Oh. He brought you here by yourselves? How old is he?” Was Sara’s worried remark  
“Yeah mother said if he went anywhere he goes. Mattie is to busy wit her boyfriend to take care of me so mother has will do it.” She says casually like it’s the most normal thing in the world.  
Sara looks over to the baseball field where the boys had been but doesn't see them anymore.  
“KITTY!! OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOU! KITTY! MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME FOR LOSING YOU!!” There was a boy shouting by the playground  
Sara looks over to where the boy is. She turns back to Carmilla.  
“Is that your brother over there by the playground?” she asked the girl that was looking over at him.  
“Yeah. That’s him.” She says sounding bored  
“Do you want to call him over so he doesn't worry you’re lost.”  
“Sure.” She cups her hands around her mouth and yells “WILL I’M OVER HERE!”  
His head shots in their direction. And relief flashes on his face. He picks up the toys from the sandcastle and runs over to them.  
“Oh thank God you're okay. I thought you got lost on me. Do not tell mother I lost you. She would kill me” Will said when he was close enough to them.  
He barely notices the woman standing there with another little girl.  
“Um….. Who are you?” he asks tentatively  
“I’m Sara Laura's mom. You’re Carmilla's brother right.” She said  
“Yeah I am.” He says  
“You should really keep an eye on your sister better. What if someone would have took her.” She scolds him  
He looks down at his feet sheepishly. “I’m sorry. It’s always hard to keep track of her when I’m playing with my friend.”  
“Yeah well you are very lucky it was a false alarm now.” She says  
“Will why where you looking for me any way.” Carmilla says quietly  
“Oh right it’s getting dark we have to go home.” Will says  
“Oh. Will, Sarah says that mom and her should talk so me and Laura can have a play date. Can you give her mom’s number so she can call her.” Carmilla said  
“Sure Kitty.” He says  
He looks to the woman. She is looking through her purse for something. Probably something to write one or with. She comes back up with a pad and pen, handing them to him and looks at him expectantly. He quickly grabs the pad write their mother's name and number and also their address.  
“I wrote our address to just in case you can’t reach her. My sister’s also at the house after school with her boyfriend if you can’t reach my mom.” He says  
“I'll keep that in mind. Thank You. You two better get going it’s already almost dark out. Plus Laura and I need to make our way home as well.” She says grabbing Laura's hand  
“Right. Come on kitty.” He says grabbing Carmilla's hand  
“Wait I want to hug Laura bye. She is my bestest friend.” Carm said  
He lets go of her hand. She walks up to Laura as her mom is letting go of her. She hugs the smaller girl hard.  
“Bye cupcake. I’ll see you later.” Carm says as she lets go of her  
“Bye Carm. I'll see you later too.” Laura giggles  
They walk off in opposite directions. Laura looks back at the same time Carmilla does. They wave at each other and turn back around.

  
It’s the start to a wondeful friendship. It will have bump and bruises along the way but it’s the best thing to happen to both of them. Until it all comes crashing down. Will they survive one of them leaving. They could only hope that it would.


	2. Birthdays and explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura has a birthday and Carmilla finds out about her "condition".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe you guys are loving this already. Thanks for giving me the love it means a lot. Time jump 4 years. Also guys, guys can we talk about the movie. I mean come on!!!! I'm excited!!!

12 years ago ( age 8)  
Carmilla pov

There was someone poking her face but she didn't want to wake up yet. She cuddled more into the body next to her. She heard a giggle come from said body.  
“Come on Carm. I know you awake. Mom is call us down stairs for my birthday breakfast.” Laura says  
“No. Too comfy” Carmilla grumbled causing Laura to giggle again  
After four years of friendship they knew pretty much everything about each other like how Carmilla didn't like to be up before noon or how Laura was addicted to sugar. Or how Carmilla still sleep with a nightlight. Or how Laura really broke her arm last year.  
“Carmilla, come on I want to eat before your comes and picks you up for your doctors appointment. Please” Laura begged.  
Carmilla didn't have to look at her to know she was pouting and if she just got a glimpse she would give in. She still open one eye. Yup done for.  
“Uggggh. Fine.” She said trying but failing to keep the smile off her face.  
“Thank you grumpy pants” Laura teased  
Carmilla sat up and stretched. Laura sat up with her.  
“Happy birthday Laura.” Carmilla says pulling Laura into a tight hug. Carmilla wasn’t really a hugger only with her cupcake.  
“Thanks Carm” Laura mumbled in her neck  
Once their released from their hug. They got up and made their way down stairs to the kitchen. Sherman was at the table already. Sara was still by the stove.  
“Well look what we got here. A birthday girl and her best friend. Happy birthday Laura.” Sherman says putting the newspaper to get up and hug Laura.  
“Thanks daddy.” Laura said going over to him. She hug him and a kiss on the cheek. She went over to her mom for another.  
“Happy birthday my beautiful princess.” Sara said  
“Thanks mama” Laura says  
“Good morning Carmilla. How did you sleep?” Sherman greets the other girl.  
“Good morning Sherman. I slept well. Did you know Laura was really comfortable to sleep with?” she asked with a smirk  
“No I didn't know that. Well I'm glad you slept well.” Sherman says  
“What time is your mom picking you up Carmilla?” Sara asked  
“Um she said around 11:30. What time is it no?” Carmilla asked  
“It is 9:49 right now so that give you enough time to eat and get you stuff ready to go.” Sara said walking to the table with plates of food  
“Okay.” Carmilla says  
“Thanks for breakfast mom. You made my favorite.” Laura says  
“Thank you Sara. It all looks delicious.” Carmilla said  
“You are very welcome girls, now eat up.” Sara replied  
The rest of breakfast was spent talking about random stuff. From school to laughing at jokes passed between the four of them. Carmilla had felt like she had gained another family.

*****

After breakfast the girls went back up stairs to Laura's room. Laura laid down on her bed well Carmilla pick up all her stuff to put in her overnight bag.  
“Hey Carm?” Laura asked  
“Yeah cupcake.” Carmilla replied looking over to the girl on bed.  
“You did tell me what you were going to the doctors for.” Laura says  
Carmilla freezes and starts to panic. This is the only thing that she hasn't told Laura. Her mom had her under go some test awhile back ago. They would find out what exactly what it was that she was born like and how it was going to be for when she was older. Its not like Carmilla didn't want to tell Laura but she had promised her mom that she wouldn't say anything tell they what it was she had.  
“Um its nothing. Its just a check up.” She lied and hoped Laura would buy it.  
“Oh okay, I just thought something was wrong because you had that other appointment three weeks ago.”  
“Yeah, no everything's fine cupcake. No need to worry” ( Hopefully ) she insisted.  
“Okay. I was just checking but I want to know how it goes though. Yeah?”  
“Sure. I'm going to go shower now before my mom gets here.”  
And with she grabbed her clean close from her bag and walked out of the room. She tried not to think about how everything would go but it was hard not too. What if it was something horrible that could kill her? Or what if it a life altering disease? Could she even tell Laura when she found out? What would she do if after she told Laura she wouldn't want to be around anymore? She hated what ifs.

*****

When she came back in the room Laura was on her bed watching, what looked like that nerdy doctor show.  
“Hey” she said  
“Hey. Wanna come what Doctor Who with me?”  
“Nah. I'm going to gab my book.”  
Laura started to pout. “But I want to cuddle with you.”  
Carmilla chucked. Went over to her bag, grab her book and walked to the other side of the bed to laydown. “We can still cuddle. I just want read my book well we are.”  
Laura grinned and scooted over a little to make room for her. Carmilla got comfortable then she open her around closer to the other girl. Laura immediately got the hint and tucked herself there.  
That was how it was for them always in contact with each other. Laura with her head in between Carmilla's neck and shoulder, hand over her waist. Carmilla arm around Laura's shoulder, absentmindedly playing with her hair. Comfortably content to each others presence.

*****

“Carmilla you moms here to pick you up.” Sara said from the doorway. A warm knowing smile on her face at the scene in front of her.  
“ Okay thank you Sara. I'll be right down ” She whispered because Laura had fallen asleep after a while. “ Creampuff? Wake up. My mom's here to pick me up.” She said gently shaking her.  
Laura stirred and opened her eyes. “ Hum. You leaving already?” she asked with a sleepy voice.  
“Yeah. I am, but I kinda need you to release me first.”  
“Oh right.” She said more awake now. She released her grip and move away from the other girl.  
“Thank you.” She chucked. She got up from the bed and grabbed her bag as Laura was getting of the bed as well. They both walked out and down the stairs. Her mother was in the foyer talking with Laura's parents.  
Her mother was a tall brunette with sharp eyes. She wore a power suit and her hair in a tight perfect bun. If she looked at you, you felt small and powerless under her gaze. But if you really knew her you know she had a heart of gold. She was a sweetheart.  
“There's my glittering girl. How was your time?” Her mother greeted  
“It was good we had fun.” Carmilla replied  
“Well I'm glad you had a good time. Happy birthday Laura. Did you like you gift?” She asked turning her attention to the other girl.  
“ Thank you. And yes I did very much. I'm not ever going to take it off.” She said taking a half a heart shaped gold necklace from her shirt. Looking over to Carmilla who had one just like it around her neck.  
Carmilla had gotten her gold best friends necklaces with their names carved into each others and the day they met on the back. With the help of her mother of course.  
“Well I'm glad you liked them. Are you ready to go Carmilla?” she asked  
“Yeah I am. See you later Laura.” Carmilla said turning to her.  
“See you later Carm. Be safe.” She said bring her into a hug.  
“Okay. See you later Mr. And Mrs. Hollis.” She turned to the to hug them as well. “ Thank you for letting me stay the night.”  
“You are very welcome. You know you are always welcome here.” Sherman said  
“You are welcome dear. We love having you here.” Sara said releasing her. Little did Carmilla know that, that was the last time she was ever going to hug Sara Hollis again. If she did she would have held her tighter and told how important she was.  
She walked out of the house and towered the car. She gave them a wave goodbye. They waved back. Then the where off.

*****

The car ride was silent with only the radio playing. Carmilla lost in thought. Her mother glanced over to her. She took her hand and brought it up to her lips to kiss.  
“Everything going to be alright sweetheart.” Her mom reassures her.  
She looks over with tears in her eyes and says “what if its not alright? What if they don’t know exactly what it is?”  
“Oh my precious girl. There is always going to be what ifs in life but sometimes you cant dwell on them. Just take what life throws at you in stride and hope for the best.”  
“Yeah I guess you're right. We won't know tell we get there.” She sighs and runs her hand through her hair.  
They get to the doctors office and check in. Her dad was in the waiting room when they got there. Once they go back the doctor is already in the room waiting for them.  
“Hello Mrs. Morgan, Mr. Karnstein Carmilla. How are you today?” The doctor asks  
“Very well doctor. But we would like to know this as soon as possible.” Her mother says  
“Right, right very well. The blood work that we took for we could look at her chromosomes has be analyzed. It seems to be some sort of defect in them.” The doctor got straight to the point.  
“Okay so what does that mean exactly?” her mom asked  
“So what is it?” her father asked at the same time.  
"Its not for sure but in the other very few cases there are i have seen a commonality in them, when hits puberty they will develop breast. They go through all the same changes as a boy as well. When I examined her it looks as if she was born with the scrotum and penis tucked inside. Those will i assume will drop. She might also developed a deeper voice and body hair.”  
Carmilla is confused about all this she is going to have what a boy has. How was this possible? She knew what a penis was because she had an older brother who never locked the bathroom door. She walked in on him when he was getting out off the shower and had asked him what it was she was six at the time. She shuddered at the thought of him naked now though. Boys were gross.  
“My daughter is going to have male parts but a female body? My baby girl? Is that correct?” Her father asked tone frantic.  
“I do believe so.”  
“No. No. No. This can not be happening. I think I need some air.” He said exasperated and walked out  
“William wait you can't leave now. We need to talk about this.” Her mother shouted after him but it was no use he was already gone.  
They never saw him after that. He had went back home. Packed his things and left. He left a note saying he couldn't handle it but that he still loved them.  
  


*****

 After they had gotten home, after further explanation from the doctor, her mother called a family meeting. Mattie was in town for summer break, she was going to start her second semester of collage in September. And Will was just going into highschool. Their mother explained everything to them.  
“I want you guys to promise me that this will only stay in this family.” Lilita says  
Her siblings just nodded, but Carmilla didn't believe it. “We can't tell anyone?” Carmilla whispers as she finally speaks for the first time since they found out. They all turn to her.  
“It's for the best sweetheart.” Her mother explained  
“I can't even tell Laura? I tell her everything. What if she asks what happened? I can't lie to her mom. I just can't.” she says with conviction now.  
“I'm sorry honey I understand, but this is the way it has to be.”  
She can't hide things from Laura, she can't lie to her either. She knows that she needs to listen to her mother but she is so conflicted. She needed some time alone to think.  
“Can I be excused to my room?” she asked  
“Sure honey. I'm going to order pizza for dinner. For when you want to eat. Okay?”  
“Okay thanks mom.” She said as she got up, and went to her room. She laid down on her bed.  
How was she going to deal with this? She didn’t know the answer to that yet but she did know she had a lot to think about. But right now she just needed a nap badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more big time jump after next chapter. I'll let you know when it will jump and for how long
> 
> Bother me on Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous  
> Tell me what you think.


	3. Blame and guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accident happenes and Carmilla blames herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos they mean a lot.  
> There's mention of death in this chapter guys.  
> *_*_*_*_ means change in pov from now on  
> Thats it enjoy this chapter.  
> Also happy national coming out day

 

 

12 years ago ( age 8)

  
Laura pov

  
Its been a couple of weeks after her birthday and Laura was worried. Carmilla hasn't been over or hasn't tried to get in contact with her. Laura was worried that she did something wrong, that she offered her or something. She just didn't know what to do. She was laying on her bed when her mom came in and sat on her bed.

“Hey honey. What's wrong? Did you and Carmilla fight because she hasn't been around?"

  
“No mom we didn't. It's just been radio silence from her. I don't know what I did or what happened to make her go off the grid like this.” She replied with her voice breaking. On the verge of tears.

  
“Oh princess, I'm sure you did nothing wrong.” Her mother said while pulling her into a comforting hug. “Here, how about this you and me go down stairs and make a batch of cookies. Then when we're done we are done will take some to her. Yeah?”

  
“Yeah. Let's do it. Thank you mom. You're the best, I love you.” She said releasing from the hug and getting up from her bed

  
“Well I try. I love you too.”

  
They walk down stairs to the kitchen. They got all the ingredients that they needed. They had a system already. Laura would mix while her mom measured everything out. Once it was all done they would clean up while they waited for the cookies to be done.

*****

  
Once the cookies were done, her mom pulled them out of the oven. She put them an the cooling rack.

  
“How about you go get dressed out of your pajamas and I'll pack these up for Carmilla. When you are done we'll go, yeah?” Her mom says

  
“Sure. I'll be right down.” She said throwing her apron off and running upstairs. Excited to see her best friend again after three weeks.

  
She came back down stairs to see her mom in the kitchen with a neatly packed tupperware full of cookies.  
“Ready to go?” Sara asked

  
“Yeah. Lets go.” Laura says taking the tupperware from her mom.

  
“Honey we'll be back we are just taking some cookies to Carmilla, love you” The older woman says , walking out of the house, to her husband.

  
“Alright be careful you two, love you both. ” Her dad says

  
They walk out to the car. When they get in Laura has a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach but she just brushes it off as excitement of seeing her best friend.

  
_*_*_*_*_

Carmilla pov

  
She's sitting on the couch sprawled out reading a book. It's been three weeks since she found out about her “condition”. She hears a key in the door and just assumes it's Mattie getting home. When the door opens she looks up from her book to see her mom. She looked lost and confused.

  
“Hi mom, you're home early. Is something wrong?” she asked

  
“Carmilla hi sweetie. Um yes there is something wrong. You see, I got a call from Sherman a little while ago.” She mom say tentatively.

  
She frowned. “ What happened? Is Laura okay? Is she hurt? Oh my god she's hurt. I need to see her.” Carmilla said more and more frantically as she spoke.

  
“Whoa. Whoa Carmilla slow down let me tell you. Laura and her mother were in an accident, when a truck didn’t stop at a red light and crashed straight into the drivers side of the car. Honey come here.”

  
She got up to walk over to her mom. She wrapped her arms around her waist and waited for her mother to continue because for some reason she felt like there was more. Her mom pulled back and looked into her eyes.

  
“Darling, Laura is hurt she is in the hospital right now, but there is something else. Sara didn't......didn’t survive the crash.” Her mother said solemnly

  
When her mother said Laura was in the hospital she almost didn't hear that Sara was gone. She didn't want to believe it. Sara was gone, Laura was going to be without a mom to look after her. She was never going to be there for Laura when she was feeling sad. How was Laura taking this, if she couldn't even handle it.

  
Carmilla hugged her mother tighter, trying to show her that she was loved, that she appreciate her. She began to cry because Sara had felt like a second mother to her. She sobbed into her mother's shoulder.

  
When she finally calm down enough. She pulled back, she noticed her mom had tears of her own.

  
“Mom, I want to go to the hospital to see Laura. Are we going to go?” she asked with a shaky voice.

  
“Yes we are. Sherman was telling me that Laura was asking for you. He said they were on their way over here to come visit, since you haven't been around them, when they got into the accident.” Her mom says.

  
Carmilla hadn’t been around because she was scared that she might just blurt out her “condition” to Laura. She automatically felt guilty. Had she at least told Laura a lie that she was sick and couldn't be around right now, maybe Sara would still be here.

“It's my fault that Laura is in the hospital and Sara is not alive.” She says with new tears in her eyes.

  
“No, no, no darling no of this is your fault. It was an accident there is no way that, that was your fault.” Her mom tried to reassure her.

  
“But-” she tried to argue but her mom interrupted her

  
“No buts, okay this was not your fault” Her mother said more firmer

  
“Okay” she says even though she still feels like it was her fault.

  
“Come on honey, lets go to the store to pick up some flowers before we go to the hospital to give to Laura, yeah?”

  
“Yeah, sure”

  
*****

  
When they arrived at the hospital, they when to the front desk to ask where Laura was. Once the found out they made their way to the elevator. When they got to the right floor they walked to the waiting room area, where they found a distraught looking Sherman Hollis.

  
“Hello Sherman. How is she?” Her mother greeted

  
He didn't notice them until her mother spoke up. When he did he still looked completely lost. He didn't have any shine in his eyes like he always does.

  
“Hello Lilita. She’s doing alright. The doctor to do a cat- scan and other test.” He says

  
“How badly did she get hurt?”

  
“Not to bad, she was in her booster seat in the middle of the backseat, so she didn't get to much of the impacted. Her left leg has a big gash going from by her knee to almost her ankle. And she has a small gash on her head. But other than that she is doing well.”

  
“Good. How are you doing, Sherman?”

  
“Honestly, like I lost my heart. I'm still kind of in shook. I can't believe that she's gone, that I could have lost both of them.”

  
“I am so sorry Sherman. If there is anything I could do to help please let me know.”

  
“I will. Thank you.”

  
Just then a doctor walked in interrupting the conversation.

  
“Mr. Hollis, sorry to interrupt, but your daughter has been moved back into her room. If you want to go back and see her you can, she's asleep right now. She was tired from all the test.” The doctor said

  
“Thank you doctor. Is it alright if they go back there with me?” he asks

  
“ Yes it is quite alright just try not to crowd her too much when she wakes up again.” The doctor answers

  
They all flow the doctor back to the room where Laura is. When they walk in the room Laura is in fact still asleep. Sherman makes his way over to the side of the bed, and grabs her hand.  
Carmilla has been silent for all this time. She doesn't know what to do, seeing Laura in the hospital bed was making her feel guilty. She decided that she was not going to leave Laura again, not willing anyway. No matter what she would find a way to do it.

  
*****

  
It has been a couple of hours, Sherman and her mom had went to the out to get some food for them. (They had asked if she wanted to come but she refused. She said that someone needed to be there in case Laura wake up. So that way she wouldn't be alone at first.) She was sitting beside the bed looking at an old magazine, when she saw movement in the corner of her eye. When she looked up she saw that Laura was starting to stir. She put the magazine down, and waited, after a few moments Laura opened her eyes. She looked around a little confused, then she saw the face of the brunette and smiled sleepily. Carmilla went over grabbed her hand and laced their fingers.

  
“Hey” Laura rasped

  
“Hey. How are you feeling?” Carmilla replied softly

  
“I have a headache and my leg hurt a little, but other than that fine. Where's my dad?”

  
“He went with my mom to get something to eat.”

  
“Oh. Carm?”

  
“Yeah Laura”

  
“I missed you.”

  
“I missed you too. I'm sorry I wasn't around Laura.”

  
“Why were you avoiding me?”

  
“I didn't mean to it's just I need a little bit of space to think about things, but it's not your fault, I promise. Don't worry about it, okay?”

  
“Okay. Are you sure its not my fault?”

  
“Yeah I'm sure …………..Laura I'm so sorry.”

  
Laura looked at her confused “Carmilla why are you sorry?”

  
Carmilla's eyes started to water. “It's my fault that you are here and that… that your mom-”

  
“Carm no stop. This is not your fault. It was an accident.”

  
“But… but if I had just told you I needed some- some space. You wouldn't- wouldn't have been- been on your way....”

  
Laura squeezed Carmilla’s hand to get her to look at her. When she turned to her Laura looked in to her eyes, the next thing she knew was that she was being pulled into a hug. Carmilla held onto the smaller girl in the bed as best as she could, and started to sob softly. She heard Laura start to cry as well.  
They stayed like that for a while just holding each other. Once they calmed down enough, they separated only enough to look at each other.

  
“Carm this was not your fault . Please stop blaming yourself. My mom would not blame you, I don't blame you, so please stop beating yourself up. So please promise me that you will stop, okay? ” Laura said not going to let her keep doing this anymore.

  
“Okay, I'll promise to stop.” Carmilla promised. If Laura told her it wasn't her fault she would believe her.

  
*****

  
The next coming weeks were hard for all of them. Laura was released from the hospital a little while after their parents had gotten back. Sherman had to adjust to being a single parent, and Laura had to adjust to not having her mother around anymore. Lilita was helping with errands and cooking food for them. Carmilla was still felling guilty about all of it, but she didn't say anything she was feeling.

  
She never left Laura's side, while she was healing, for to long. They would become closer than ever in the next coming months because of it, but there was always going to be that thing that was hanging over her that she had to hide, that might have caused all of this. It was hard but she could do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bother me on Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous  
> If you guys have a preference on when I should post please suggest it to me. I have no schedule for this all I know is that i will post once or twice a week depending on how busy I am. But I need a schedule so i don't get off track.


	4. Goodbyes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one they find out Carmilla is leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you guys been crying as much as i have? God its not all the way over though, the movie.  
> Alright guys here's another chapter for you. Thank You again for the comments and kudos very much appreciated.  
> Also  
> ***** =small time jump in pov  
> *_*_*_*_ =pov change  
> *_*/*_* = time jump and pov change  
> Bigger time jumps will be labeled with how far.  
> Also pov change will be labeled with characters name.

 

 

8 years ago (Age 12)

Carmilla pov

“Don't forget about us here in little old Toronto, okay? Don’t get into to much trouble in Los Angeles either, and be good to your mother. Oh and I have some bear spray for you too.” Sherman says trying not to choke up to much in front of them.

“I won't Sherman, thank you for being here for me, I'm going to miss your protectiveness.” Carmilla says to him.

He bends down a little and wraps his arms around her for a Big Papa Hollis hug. Where she gets lifted off her feet, but she wouldn't have it any other way. This is not the hardest goodbye but it is a hard one. He has became more of a father figure to her now, especially because her dad walked out. Even if he was grieving his wife at the time. She hated goodbyes. She didn't want to it to be the last time she was ever going to see them, but she new that this was it. She was moving, two thousand miles away (give or take a few miles), to Los Angeles, because her mom had gotten a new fancy job that requires her to move there. They were going to start a new life. She had to say goodbye to her friends and second family. She had to say goodbye to Laura.

*_*/*_*

Four weeks earlier

Laura pov

“Hey Laura, Laura wake up ” Carmilla says trying to shaking her awake.“Come creampuff wake up.”

She jolts up finally opening her eyes and looks. They are in Carmilla's living room there are papers and books on the coffee table. She remembers that they were studying for a test, but she doesn't know when she fell asleep with her head on Carmilla's lap.

“Hey, its okay. Another bad dream?” Carmilla asked her.

“Yeah it was.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, can you just hold me.”

“Sure cupcake”

She has been having bad dreams for quite awhile now, but there not really dreams. It's her reliving the accident that took her mom. It always starts the same, they are in the car it’s a beautiful summer day. Her mom in the front seat, dancing a little to Yeah! By Usher at a stop light, looking at her through the rearview mirror. When the street light turns green, Laura turns to look out the window and sees the truck coming at them not slowing down. Then the crash. They stayed like that for awhile. Finally Laura pulled out of the cuddle and sat up to pull a book onto her lap. They work for awhile tell Carmilla breaks the silence.

“Hey Laura? I got to tell you something.”

“Yeah Carm.”

“Yesterday my mom got a call from my aunt, my dad's sister, she said he was found dead in his apartment in L.A. She said he had overdosed on heroin.”

“Carm…..”

“Don't it's okay. I'm not really sad about it, to be honest I don't know what to feel. I mean he left us without saying goodbye.”

“Why did you tell me?”

“Because in his will he said he wanted leave his company to be ran by my mom.” Carmilla said putting the book on Laura’s lap and taking her hands in hers.

“Wait, what. Why would he do that?”

“I don't know. Maybe he felt bad for leaving.”

“What is your mom going to do?”

“Um…..that's the thing she took the job, Laura.”

“Wait, the job is in Los Angeles right? How is……..no- no- no. Please don't tell me you are moving.”

Carmilla couldn't meet her eyes, but nodded to tell that it was true. Carmilla was leaving to another country. This couldn't be true. They where supposed to go to highschool together, talk about boys, go to college together, be there when the other gets married(even if she thought they would get married to each other), and live next to each other, and grow old together. Not Carmilla having to move away from her. Not having to be separated from her best friend. She released Carmilla's hand. She raised it up and put her index finger under Carmilla's chin to get her to look at her. She looked into those dark eyes she would recognize anywhere.

“Hey”

“Hey”

“It is not your fault. You didn't have a choice in this okay?”

“You're not mad?”

“Kinda but not at you. I'm just mad that you're leaving. And that I won't see you after you move.”

“I can write you. I'll write all the time. I'll tell you what I'm doing in school, and what happens when we get to L.A., and how bright and sunny it is, and how much I hate how bright and sunny it is. How I miss the snow. How much I miss you, like your laugh, your smile, and that adorable bunched up little face you make when you are angry.”

“I'll write you back all the time, and tell you how much I miss you, how much I really hate the woman my dad married last month, how much school is not the same without you, how much Laf misses you but doesn't want to admit it, or how Perry is worried if your getting enough vegetables, and how much my dad is trying to get me to send bear spray to you with each letter.”

Laura saw tears on her cheeks, and she felt her own tears on her cheeks. She didn't know when they both started crying, but she didn't care. She pulled Carmilla in to her body and hugged her tight. Carmilla held onto her just the same. Carmilla was leaving. Carmilla was leaving. Carmilla was leaving.

“When?” Laura asked after awhile

“We a leaving on January 2nd. Mom didn't want to be in the middle of the move on Christmas and wanted us to finish the semester off.”

“Carm that's less then a month away.”

“I know….. I don't want to go, Laura. I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don't want that either.”

This was going to be hard to say goodbye to her best friend, but they had too. Maybe there was something else the could promise each other. She just had to figure it out.

“Hey Carm?”

“Yeah cupcake.”

“I going to really miss you. You know.”

“Yeah I know. I'm going to really miss you too.”

“Are we still to do the gift exchange on Christmas?”

“Well of course. I already got you yours.”

“Good because I got you yours already too.”

*****

The next few weeks were hectic with both of them studying for the final exam of the semester. They tried to spend as much time together. Now it was finally Christmas afternoon and she was going to see Carmilla.

She was in her room watching Doctor Who, when she heard a knock at the front door. She hopped up and bolted to the door. Getting there before her dad. She opened the door and saw Carmilla's face.

“Finally you get here.” She said pulling Carmilla into the house.

“Well hello to you cupcake. Oh yeah I am doing good thanks for asking.” Carmilla says dripping it in sarcasm but with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on your present is in my room.” She said grabbing Carmilla's hand.

They walk up the stairs to her room hurriedly because Laura was practically running up the stairs. Dragging Carmilla behind her. When they got to the room, she pulled away from Carmilla to grab the present of her desk.

“Okay I want you to open your present first.” She said to the brunet girl getting comfortable on her bed. Handing her the present.

“Ok.” Carmilla says grabbing the present.

She puts it up to her ear and gives it a shake. She frowns because she can't hear anything. She brings it down in to her lap and starts to unwrap it. There's a pause then she's looking up. She had gotten Carmilla a copy of her favorite philosopher's book. Carmilla hasn't said anything yet, so of course she starts to get nervous.

“Do you like it? I wasn't sure if you had the book yet, but I got it anyway. If you do have it we could probably take it back or-” She rambled beforeCarmilla cut het off.

“Laura stop. I love it. I don't have this book. Thank you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Now its your turn.”

She grabbed the present from her. She tore throw the poor wrapping job. At least she knew Carmilla wrapped it. It was in a box when she opened the box there was two items with more wrapping protecting whatever there was. Once she got all the wrapping off the first one. She gasped. Carmilla had gotten her a TARDIS mug. Now she was excited to see what the other thing was. She carefully set down her mug sending a smile over to Carmilla and quickly grabbed the other item. She unwrap it. And squeaked with excitement. It was a big TARDIS onesie. It looked a little too big.

“I couldn't find a smaller one in your size but I still got it, so that way you could wear it when you get older to.”

“Oh my god. I love it Carm. Thank you so so much. I'm going to wear it all the time.” She grinned and throw her arms around Carmilla.

It was one of the best presents she ever gotten, well except for the necklace Carmilla had gotten her for her eighth birthday. She was going to keep them forever. Especially because they would remind her of Carmilla.

*_*/*_*

Four weeks later

Carmilla pov

It was finally time. She had to say goodbye to Laura. She reluctantly pulled out of Sherman's arms. When he let go he ruffled her hair. She moved away from him towards the other girl. Laura automatically brought her in for a bone crushing hug. There was no one that mattered to Carmilla then Laura. She was her best friend that knew her for the real her (mostly). They were there for each other but now they couldn't be. It was hard for both of them. They pulled out of the hug.

“Hey. No crying creampuff, because if you start crying I'm going to start crying. We have to be strong.” Carmilla said wiping Laura's cheek with her thumb.

“I don't want to say bye to you, Carm.” Laura said sniffing

“What? We have to.”

“No. We can say see you later. We will come back to each other, some way or another we will make it back to each other, I feel it. Plus it's not like you are going to drop off the face of the earth.”

“Okay. See you later it is then. I'm going to miss you. You are my only cupcake.”

“And I'm going to miss you my only cute little kitten.”

“What? I'm not cute.”

“Yeah especially with that pout on your face.”

“No I'm a giant wild panther.”

“Okay whatever you say. Come on lets take one last photo of us all before you guys leave.”

“Sure. Who's going to take it though?”

“Um… maybe Jennifer can? Will you?”

The woman was just there for moral support anyway she didn't really know Carmilla and her family, but she did marry Sherman so she had to hang around.

Laura and Carmilla looked at each other silently promising each other that it was not the last time they were going to see each other, they didn't know when but it was going to happen, before posing for the picture. Laura next to Carmilla with Laura's arm around her waist and hers over Laura's shoulder. Sherman behind Laura hand on both of them. Lilita behind Carmilla with Will to her right.

What they didn't know was that Jennifer planning keeping them apart from each other. Sherman Hollis' new wife would keep them apart from each other only one year after Carmilla left. Some how she would find a way to intercept the letters going back and forth between them. No matter what Carmilla will never give up on Laura though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to figure out a schedule. I'm kinda crazy posting so late at night. Please help.  
> Bother me on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous


	5. Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is going on in the first year Carmilla is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got it done. Here's another chapter for you. Sorry for taking so long. Thank you so much for the feed back and kudos. I love seeing your reactions.  
> ***** =small time jump in pov  
> *_*_*_*_ =pov change  
> *_*/*_* = time jump and pov change  
> Bigger time jumps will be labeled with how far. Pov change will be labeled with characters name.

 

 

7 years 11 months ago (AGE 12)

Laura pov

The last few weeks have been hell for her. She only had a few days to prepare to go back to school after Camilla left to prepare. Everyone in school knew her and Carmilla had been friends and that Carmilla had to move away over break. So when she got to school everyone was just tip-toeing around her by being extra nice. Even her friends tired to cheer her up Perry baked her some cookies and Lafontaine was trying to science crack jokes that she didn't even get. She was just missing her best friend more because of all that was smothering but Carmilla would have known what to do. Today she was with Lafontaine because her dad was on a business trip and she didn't want to be at the house with Jennifer.

“Geez, frosh not to put this the wrong way or anything but you look like hell.” They greeted her when they opened the door and letting her in.

“Yeah well I feel like it. I really miss her. I got a letter from her today but I haven't read it because I'm scared.” she said walking to their room.

“Oh come on L, it's not like you are the only one to miss her. I know Perry does because she is still always baking cookies with extra chocolate chips and walnuts in them because those were Carmilla's favorite. And maybe I miss her snarky comments and all around broodiness sometimes. At least you get to here from her, plus she has only been gone for three weeks. Read the letter.”They chastised her good-naturedly

She smiled at them. They were a year older then her. She had meet them and Perry when she had slipped on mud and tackled them to the ground at recess in the third grade. They had simply brushed it off. Carmilla had seen the whole thing and laughed before helping them all of the ground careful not to get in the mud too. Once they were of the ground they introduce themselves. From then on they had played at recess with Laf and Perry.

“Yeah I guess you're right. But what if she likes it better over there, and never wants to talk again.”

“Laura you are overreacting. If anything she probably hating it. You won't know unless you read the letter.”

“Fine. But can you read it to me.”She gave them here puppy eyes.

“Sure. Here let me have it.”

She grabbed the letter from her Doctor Who backpack her dad had gotten her for Christmas. She handed it to them. Laf opened it and cleared throat. They started reading trying to imitate Carmilla's voice.

_“Dear cupcake,_

_Hey, sorry for not writing sooner. It has been hectic over here. First the movers kinda got lost with our stuff so it didn't get here until a week after we moved in. Then we had to make sure I was enrolled in school, which is so different from Toronto. God I feel so alone here, I have no friends at school, and Will went back to college last week. Mom is just busy all the time now. You would never believe how big this house is, another thing my dad left us with by the way(he never lived here, it was bought it specifically for us to live in if my mom took the job). Everything is so crazy here, the traffic is crazy, I hate the people they're so snooty, and there are too many lights to see the stars. There is way to much sun, I got sunburned on the first day here its like its not even winter here. How I wish we didn't move. I miss you so much. I miss your dad, I even miss Laf and Perry, but don't tell them that you know Laf would get a big head over it._ (Laf looked at her and grinned cheeky. She just chuckled and gestured for them to go on ) _I wish I was home. I absolutely hate it I can't just go to your house anymore, I hate I don’t get to see you in school. Uuuggghhh it is horrible. Okay I'm done complaining tell me everything that is going on over there, did you replace me as a best friend already? How is everyone even if I did only see the a couple weeks ago. I miss you Laura. I hope to see a letter soon._

_With love from your best friend, Carmilla Karnstein_

_(P. S. Give me Laf and Perry's address' so I can write them to)_

Lafontaine looked up at her folding the letter up and handing it back to her. They waited a few minutes before finally speaking. “See I told you that you were just overreacting. She misses you and does want to hear from you. She even admitted to missing me and Per. So there is nothing to worry about.”

“I guess you were right. Now I need to write back. Do you have an envelope I can have. I have to ask my dad to get my some.”

“Sure.”

*****

That is how they communicated. Letters going back and forth between them everyday. All mostly the same, how they were doing, what was happening in school, new friends Carmilla tried to make this included a guy named Wilson who was practically a puppy (which she thought was weird considering how Carmilla was but she did say anything about it), the new school year without Laf and Perry with her, Carmilla new teachers, just about everything they talked about.

*****

It has been a year and two months after Carmilla left. She was a little worried right now because she hadn't seen a letter from Carmilla in weeks. Every time she had checked the mail there was nothing in there for her. She had been writing letters anyway. Today she went out to get the mail, she found a letter from Carmilla. She squealed with excitement and tore it open, she didn't even grab the rest of the mail. She began reading as she read on her smile slowly dropped into a frown. She placed the letter in her pocket ran towards the garage and grabbed her bike, tears running down her face. She quickly rode to the closest of her friends houses'. She knocked frantically on the door and waited. The door opened and Perry came into view. As soon as Laura seen her she flung herself at Perry.

“Oh my god Laura what is wrong? Why are you crying?” Perry said putting her arms around her.

“Car- Car- Carmilla. She-she- said- said - she- she….” She stuttered through a sobbed not being able to finish from it being so bad.

“Okay honey how about we get you inside and calmed down then you can tell me what happened. Okay?” Perry asked calmly rubbing circles in her back.

All she could do was nod. She let herself be led inside and into the den. Perry just held her until she calmed down. She was still struggling to breathe a bit. She took out the letter and handed it to Perry. She took it and gave a curious look.

“Can you read it out loud please?” “Sure sweetie.”

“ _Dear Laura,_

_Laura I am writing this letter to tell you that I will no longer be writing to you. I have been to busy writing you letters over the past year. I can no longer do this it is becoming to much. It is the way it has to be. I have other more important things to do then to write an old friend daily._

_Sincerely,_

_Carmilla.”_

Perry stopped reading and looked over at Laura. Her voice barely a whisper as she said “I am so sorry Laura.”

“So it is true. My best friend since we were four, is to busy to make time for me.” She began to sob again. Perry wrapped her in a hug again, rubbing comforting circles into her back. Why had this happened? What was going on? Why would Carmilla just suddenly think it was hard to write Laura? Laura didn’t have the answer to these questions. She had thought everything had been going great. She had thought their bond had been stronger then ever. But now she was doubting it. Had Carmilla thought this the whole time? Why hadn't she said any thing about it? She hated this. She pulled away from Perry, sniffling.

“Why Per?”

“I don't know Laura. I never thought she could do something like this. Did she say anything about it?”

“No that's the thing. She never said anything. I haven't even gotten a letter in a few weeks. I am not giving up that easily. If she thinks I won't back down and try to keep this friendship going she has another thing coming.”

*****

She didn't know what to think. She had to figure out why. She was going to keep writing Carmilla no matter what. Even if Carmilla didn't want to write didn't mean Laura still couldn't. She would still even if Carmilla didn't want any letters from her. She was stubborn like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god guys i am so sorry for not posting sooner. I have been so busy and a little bit of procrasting on this chapter. My family has been trying to organize something to do for my birthday which is Monday.  
> Bother me on tumblr  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous


	6. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after to Camilla after she left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for for your support and comments i love hearing your opinion on this. Sorry another busy week. But i most likely have another chapter up for you tomorrow or Sunday so be on the look out. Here's another chapter.

 

 

7 years 11 months ago (AGE 12)

Carmilla pov

God she hated it here. Los Angeles was so big and hectic. The were a lot of preppy people. It was loud and it was hot for it being winter. She missed home, she missed her mom being home, she missed Toronto, she miss Lafontaine and Perry, she missed Sherman, and most of all she miss Laura. The only thing that she did like was that no one know her. She and her mom had talked and had decided that she would better pass as a boy here. So when they had got to California she and Will had changed their names and she chopped of all her luscious locks. She was now Carson Luce and Will was William Luce. He had a harder time with the name change because he was going to have to explain it to his classmates back at Silas but he still did it so she wasn’t the only one. She loved him for it even if she didn't admit it.

*****

Since Will was leaving in a couple of days they had decided to get to know the neighborhood a little better. Will had seen a park with a field big enough to play a little football on and wanted to practice a little. They walked around until they found it. There was some guys around her age play a game but that was about it.

“I going to go over there and throw the ball to you. Try and catch it.” Will teased.

“Whatever.” She grumbled.

For a person who had no experience at all in the game of football she was actually pretty good at it. Will was pretty far back because of his arm at throwing, he wasn't the star quarterback for the Silas Knights for nothing, but she caught almost every single one that he throw at her and she throw it back with perfect precision. So they had caught the attention of the guys that had been playing a couple of yards away. One of them walked over.

“Hey bros. You're pretty good. Want to come join our game?” The lanky guy said

“Um. I don't know what do you think Will you want to play a game with a bunch of twelve year olds. Or are you to big and bad?” Carmilla challenged

“Eh why not just as long as we are on the same team.” Will says

“Cool bros. So what do you guys play or something because that was some impressive throwing.” The guy said

“Oh yeah I play on for my college but not Car…...Carson. Sh…….He doesn't really like to be outside much.”

“Oh cool. What college team do you play for and what position?”

“Silas U Knights. I play quarterback.”

“No way. You William Karnstein Jr?”

“Well it's William Luce now but yup that's me.”

“Dude that is so cool you are like my hero. I really hope you go on to pro. Oh by the way my name is Wilson Kirsch.”

“Nice to meet you Wilson. But let's get this show on the road. Yeah?”

“Yeah cool. I can't believe that we are going to play a game with William Luce dream come true.”

Carmilla was glad that Will was a talker and good with people because of had just been her she would have just snarked her way through them.

*****

They did play a good game of course the team her and Will were on won. Her and Kirsch had worked oddly well together which was a surprise because they were such polar opposites. He was like a puppy in human form and she was like a graceful wild cat but it worked. At the end of the day she had left with a potential bro and some friends.

*****

When Will had left for college she had started school so she had no time to miss him. As it turned out Kirsch was in three of her classes so she didn't feel to alone and that she didn't know anybody there. She sat with him at lunch on her first day when he invited her. This is where she had met his childhood best friend Danny Lawrence. It was a weird dynamic but for some reason it worked. It just made her miss Laura more seeing them how her and Laura used to be. Her and Danny didn't really get along to well. It's not like she didn't like her it is just that her and Danny were a lot alike. They both were stubborn and sarcastic. The only difference was that Danny was good with other people and she wasn't. It was whatever though. They were going to be friends even if she didn't like it to much.

*****

It's been three weeks since she moved and she had sent Laura a letter two days ago when she received a response back. She was excited to her from Laura again even if it was in written form. She automatically ripped it open and began to read it.

_Dear Carm_

_Hey Carm. It's okay that you were busy with stuff I expected it. Everything is just the way you left it. Everyone misses you. Perry is thinking about sending you some of your favorite cookies because she has been making them nonstop. Laf said they miss you too. They read the letter you sent me sorry. Anyway I hope everything is going well over there. I want to know if you made any friends yet. My dad also wants to know if you have enough bear spray because he made some more and is willing to send you more. Sorry my dad made me say that I know you don't want or need it. I miss you Carm. So much. I hope you have a great day._

_Love you best friend_

_Laura_

_P.S. Here are Perry's and Lafontaine's address._

It was funny how everything turned out she was glad that she would still be able to communicate with Laura and the rest of her friends that she had left behind in Toronto even if she hadn't told them about the change she went through when she had first gotten to her new home. She looked forward to the letters she got from Laura every day and the occasional letter from Laf or package from Perry. They will always be a big part of her no matter what. They were her extended family. She could admit that she loved them to herself. She hated having to miss them.

*****

It has been a crazy year for her. She had found her way in Los Angeles, sort of. She had a best bro and a couple of friends. From the moment that she had met Wilson Kirsch they had gotten along, now she felt like she could trust him truly. So she had decided to tell him her biggest secret. She didn't know why she wanted the people that were closest to her to know about it but it was important to her. So she had sat Kirsch down and told him. At first he didn't understand but then she explained how it was just the way she was born. He said “ I don't care about what your body is like just you are still my bro for life.” Then he got up and gave her a bro hug. She was so happy that he didn't reject her. She felt like the next person that should know was Laura after all they were still best friends.

*****

Three weeks after she had told Kirsch, she had finally work up the courage to write the letter to Laura. She didn't know how to go about it at first but Kirsch help her through it. She was so nervous about what the response would be. She just hoped that it would go well. It was just a waiting game now.

*****

It's been two weeks since she sent the letter to Laura and all she had received was radio silence on Laura's part. It was killing her inside. Today after she had got back from the gym with Kirsch, he had convinced her to try out for the football team last summer, she found a letter from Laura in the mail box. She was automatically nervous again so she waited until she was inside to read it. When she finally did it broke her.

_Dear Carmilla,_

_Carmilla I am writing this letter to tell you that I will no longer be writing to you. I have been to busy writing you letters over the past year. I can no longer do this it is becoming to much. It is the way it has to be. I have other more important things to do then to write an old friend daily. I wish you a good life._

_Sincerely,_

_Laura_

No this wasn't happening. Laura didn't want to anything to do with her any more. Laura didn't even acknowledge her letter. She had never cried before, she thought she couldn't. But here she was crying because Laura wasn't going to be her friend any more. Why? She needed answer. She knew one person was the unofficial truth speaker. She was going to have to ask Lafontaine what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Bother me on tumblr  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous


	7. Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Camilla and Laura after the letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot to post this chapter. But here it is. Also I'm sorry (no im not) for this chapter. A little angst here but not really.  
> ***** =small time jump in pov  
> *_*_*_*_ =pov change  
> *_*/*_* = time jump and pov change

 

6 years 10 months ago (AGE 13)

Laura pov

“Hey Laura.” Lafontaine say walking up to her.

“Hey Laf. What up?” she replies because they have a worried look on their face.

“Guess what I got in the mail today?” They ask

“A letter from Carm? Did you open it?” She asked with a little intrigue.

“Nah. I figured it was along the same lines of the one you got. I already been through it once don't need to do it again.” They replied solemnly.

“Yeah I guess you're right.”

Lafontaine had as just a hard of time with Carmilla's letter a she did. Carmilla was the one they had first told about being non-binary. She had been so supportive of them, she even was there when they told Perry. Lafontaine secretly loved her platonically of course. Now she didn't want to be in their life anymore, to say that it hurt them would have been an understatement. They might never forget being abandoned by her.

“At least she bothered to send you one. She could have just fallen off the face of the earth.” She tried to reason.

“Yeah but I didn't need it.” They just left it at that. Then turned around and walked away.

She really hated to see them like that. She wanted the experiment crazed sarcastic Lafontaine back. She kind of didn’t like Carmilla for not only doing it to her but to Laf too, it was just wrong. But it didn’t mean she was going to give up on finding answers.

*_*/*_*

6 years 8 months ago (AGE 13)

Carmilla pov

She was over at Kirsch's house playing some video games, when he brought up her letter to Laf that she wrote two months ago

“So what happened to that letter that you sent your friend in Toronto?” Kirsch asked.

“I haven't even gotten a reply back from them. I guess however Laura to the news got to Lafontaine and they don't want to hear from me either. It's not like I care about what they think of me.” She lied through her teeth.

If she wanted anyone's approval that mattered other than Laura it was Lafontaine. She was there for them in the time of self-discovery for them. If anyone would understand it had to be Laf because she was different just like them. And the worst part was that Kirsch knew that she was lying but he didn't comment on it. He knew more or less when to she was going to keep something to herself or wanted to talk it out. He is the best bro anyone could have. She was being ripped apart from her former life and the people that were closest to her for nine years. They were no longer in her life. She hated that this move had come between them and made them grow apart. She wanted nothing more than to try and fix a friendship that will probably never be anymore.

“Hey Kirsch?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think that L.A. has changed me so much that the friends that I had don't want anything to do with me anymore?”

“Honestly. The only thing that you changed was the whole dude thing. Other than that you are still the person I met playing catch with her brother.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course I might be dumb sometimes in all school subjects but I know people better than anything. If you were such a bad person do you think I would never became your friend in the first place.”

She new he was right but she couldn't help think that maybe just maybe she had changed to much for them. That she may never get them back if they didn't want her back.

*_*/*_*

6 years ago (AGE 14)

Laura pov

The more time went on without a letter from Carmilla just broke her. It has been a year since she had received the letter that changed everything. Not knowing anything about Carmilla was slowly killing her but she was trying to be able to cope with it better. No matter how many letter she had sent Carmilla over the last year she had gotten no response. Lafontaine and Perry were trying to convince her to stop because they said it wasn't healthy to keep doing this to herself. Her dad looked at her sadly every time she would go put a letter in the mail box but she didn't say anything and still bought her envelops and stamps. She grow apart from one of the only people who had been a constant for twelve years. She didn't like knowing that it was ever possible for Carmilla just to throw away their friendship like it was nothing. Carmilla had told her one time that she was never going to leave her and she believed it. She would do anything to have Carmilla back in her life again.

*_*/*_*

4 years 4 months ago (AGE 16)

Carmilla pov

She was lined up behind Kirsch waiting for him to snap the ball. The lights were bright and the air was cold, it had been raining and the field was muddy. This was a important game for them it would make or break the season for them. The score was 20- 14 with one minute left in the game and they needed a touchdown to win. They were lined up on the fifty yard line. Kirsch snapped the ball and in a swift motion handed her the ball. She seen a hole that was big enough for her to fit through and went for it. She ran straight through and broke into a sprint. She broke a tackle, she could see the goal line coming closer, she could hear someone behind her chasing her down. Just as she was crossing the goal line she got hit hard with a helmet to her back. She tumbled to the ground and laid there. She seen Kirsch coming to her in a full on sprint instead of his usual jog. When he got to her he had a worried look. And bent down next to her.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah but I'm going to have a bruise on my back.” She groaned

“That was a completely unnecessary hit.” He said angrily getting up.

He went up to the guy and pushed his shoulders and yelled at him. The ref that was in the back throw a flag. There had already been one on the ground from the hit that she had got. The umpire picked up both flags and helped her up. He went off to the side of the field to explain the flags.

“UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT NUMBER 55 DEFENSE. UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT NUMBER 12 OFFENSE. THOSE PENALTIES OFF SET RESULT TOUCHDOWN.” The umpire explained and putting his hands up in the air signaling touchdown.

She was instantly being hoisted up by her team in celebration. She loved the feeling of the adrenaline rushing through her blood from her run. Everyone knows her and what she can do on the field. They my not love her but she was popular. She had the best team, she had the best friend, and friends that anyone could ask for. They were supportive and a little crazy but she wouldn't have it any other way. She was finally felling like she belonged. But if she was being truthful she felt like she was still missing something or rather someone. She had to admit that she still missed Laura from time to time. She still wrote letters to her even if she didn't get a reply. It was hard sometimes but it was a lot easier now than it was at first. But now she had friends who cared about her so she wasn't to worried about that at the moment. At the moment she was being carried to the sideline for proper congratulations from the team, so the field goal unit could go on field for the extra point. They were telling her about a party at Kirsch's house for the win. Of course she was going she didn't help win the game for nothing. And it was not only for the win but her birthday too. It felt good to have won today of all days.

*****

The party was at full swing already. She was in the corner on a couch watching everyone with some kind of drink in her hands. When Kirsch came up to her.

“Hey Carson. Having fun?” He asked

“Yeah I'm fine. But why did you come over here? What do you want?” She asked.

“Okay so I have something for you?” “What did you do?”

“Well……”

The next thing she knew was he picked her up and went to the dj booth. The dj saw them and cut the music handing a mic to Kirsch.

“Carson you are the best bro anyone could have. And I want you to know that it has been awesome to have you with us. On the be half of the Wildcats I present to you your brand new Letterman jacket. I know you wanted one but didn't get it freshman and sophomore year because you were saving up for your car. So as a team we all pitched in and got it for you. It has all you patches on it already.” Kirsch speaks into the microphone. And grabbing the jacket from one of their teammates.

He puts the mic down and move towards her to put it on her. She was speechless they didn't have to do this. Everybody knows how expensive these jackets can be. She was excited to finally have one of her own. She had always been jealous of the whole team for having one. She had been saving her money to buy her dream car a 1963 dodge charger. Of course she had bought it as soon as she got her license. She loved her team for doing this for her.

“We also have one more surprise. Guys bring lets take this outside.”

She was confused why did they have to go outside. She did as she was told though. Outside Kirsch told her to stand on the curb. Down the street was someone coming on a motorcycle. As they got closer she could see that it was Will. She atomically smiled. She hasn't seen her brother in almost a year because he had been taking summer classes. He parked the motorcycle and got off. He walked up to her and hugged her tight.

“Hey what are you doing here?” she asked in his ear.

“What can't a brother come visit his little sister?” He whispered back.

“Yeah but don't you have school?” She asked pulling out of the hug.

“Yes but mom wanted me and Mattie to come and visit for the weekend. And to give you something.” He said

“What?” She asked

“She knows how much you wanted one and how hard you have been working to get one. And she's sorry for not being there to much for you she want me to give you this.” He says handing her the keys to the motorcycle.

“No way. She gave me a motorcycle. I am going to have to kiss her when I get home.” She said excitedly

Will grabbed a helmet, that matched the bike, from the handle bars and handed it to her. She walked around it checking it out. It was black and had red stripping all the metal was painted chrome. She fell in love. It was so her. She hugged Will again. She went over and sat on the bike. It felt so right.

*****

Everyone had made their way back inside after she took her bike for a spin up and down the block. She had found herself back on the couch in the corner watching everyone. She felt the couch dip next to her. She looked over to see who it was. Sitting next to her was a beautiful blonde girl with blue eyes looking at her.

“Hey.” The girl said.

“Uh…. Hey.” She said.

“I've seen you over here all alone and wanted to know if you wanted some company?” The girl asked.

“Su….. sure.” She stuttered. Why was she so nervous? And was it hot in here?

“Happy birthday by the way. But shouldn't you be having fun? It is your party after all.” The girl teased with a smirk. Was she flirting? Oh okay two can play that game.

“Yeah but if I was I wouldn't be talk to a beautiful girl right now. Now would I?” She smirked

“I guess not. My name's Ell by the way.” The girl, Ell, said holding out her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your feed back and support i love it so much. I am so happy that you guys like it.  
> Bother me on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous


	8. Different lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so sorry. There has been so much stuff going on right now. I took this long because there was an unexpected death in my family and it took a toll on me. But i do have finished this chapter. I rewrote it this a couple times but i am still not completely satisfied with it. I hope it is satisfactory for you. Anyway, your comments and kudos are very appreciated and love your feed back. I will have another chapter up for you on Saturday. Alright here you go another chapter.  
> ***** =small time jump in pov  
> *_*_*_*_ =pov change  
> *_*/*_* = time jump and pov change

 

 

1 year 9 months ago (AGE 17)

Carmilla pov

She was laying on her bed, thinking about things and how different they were from six months ago. A year ago she had a girlfriend that she may have loved, and a mostly healthy relationship with her. Kirsch was secretly pinning over Danny, Danny was secretly pinning over Kirsch, both to oblivious to how the other felt. And she was in a happy place in her life. But that was six months ago. Right now she was a mess. She had finally work up the courage to tell Ell about her, after they had been together for a year. Ell didn't take it well. She quote “ I can't be with you anymore. You know I always thought that there was something wrong with you but I wasn't expecting you to be a freak.” And walked out of the door, that was a few hours ago. She had been sobbing uncontrollably since she had called Kirsch but he didn't answer because he was on a date with Danny who was his girlfriend now. She had left a message for him telling him what had happened and that she needs him for support. She hated that she couldn't control her emotions right now and had to call somebody to help her but if Kirsch was not there for here right now she had two other people she could count on for support. She decided to call her favorite sibling.

“Hello kitten, to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing from you.”

“Mattie.” She sniffed

“What happened? Did that little moppet hurt you? She did, didn’t she?” Mattie said

“I told… told her…. Mattie…. She said she always thought that….that there was something wrong with me.” She stuttered

“Oh kitty, I am so sorry. I wish I could be there for you. Oh how I would love to rip that little girls heart out with my bare hands right now. I knew I didn’t like her for a reason.”

“Mattie, what do I do? What happens if she tells somebody?”

“I wish I could tell you something that would help but I can't. This is one of the reasons that mother told you from the beginning why to keep it a secret. Because we didn't want you getting hurt.”

“But Mattie, I had to tell her we were together for a year and didn’t do anything. She was going to find out if I told her or not. She was going to get suspicious if I keep turning down her advances. I just wish I was born normal so I wouldn't have to go through this. I wouldn't be a freak.”

“No don’t you start that. You are not a freak you were just born different. And being different is a good thing. You friends didn't think you were a freak and we didn't. So that is what matters because we a love you no matter what. Now can you please stop letting people put things in you head that aren't true.”

“But they are true Mattie. Don’t think that I don’t know the reasons dad left.”

“You can not blame yourself for him being a cowered. And not wanting to support his family.”

“If I was born normal he wouldn't have walked out of the doctor's office to never be seen again.”

“Just stop. He was a cowered point blank. Not your fault.”

“Fine it wasn't my fault.”

There was a beat of silence before Mattie sighed. “Carmilla its going to be fine. It will all brush over. She'll forget about it and you are finally free of her. And if she does anything to hurt you be sure that I will come down personally to make her life a living hell.”

She smiled a little at that “Thanks Mattie. I needed that.”

“You are very welcome. Now tell me what you have been up to you little monster other that getting your heart broken.” She loved talking like this with her sister. Just them catching up on things. She told Mattie how she was doing in school, Mattie told her how being a big hot shot lawyer for the celebs was. Mattie told her how married live was and she told her how Kirsch and Danny where a thing now. She missed talking like this with her sister or being able to talk to her at all. Mattie was always busy doing a case or helping their mother with the family business. She didn't really understand the business of it she really didn't care either. What she did care about was that she never really spent time with her mom anymore because she was always busy or at work. She missed her mom too even of she lived with her. But she couldn't do anything about that. She laid back and stared at the ceiling again. Before she thought better she went to her desk pulled out a sheet of paper and started writing a letter to Laura even if she knew she wasn't going to get an answer.

*_*_*_*_

Laura pov

She was on the couch watching Doctor Who when her phone rang. She looked at it and laughed it was a picture of Laf with flour all over with their middle finger pointed at the camera. She had took it a while back when Lafontaine had blown up some cookie dough up who knows how they did that. It still got her every time. “

Hey Laf. What's up?” she asked

“I wanted to invite you to come over and watch some bad syfy movies and eat as much popcorn we can handle.”

“Uh- oh are you fighting with Perry again?”

“It's not like a real fight. It's more of a disagreement on the whole me becoming a threat to society with my experiment yesterday.”

They had some how set a part of the science building yesterday with some very explosive chemical near by. The amount of chemical was enough to take the whole city and maybe more out of existence. But it was quickly put out before that could happen thank god for that. So she could sympathies with Perry on that one but she wasn't going to not be there for her friend when they were fighting with their best friend.

“Sure Laf I'll go watch some movies with you.”

“Cool. I'll see you when you get here.”

She loved her friend, she really did but sometimes they could be a little much at times. But she would spend as much time with them before they went off to college in a couple months. Lafontaine had gotten a science scholarship to Silas U and Perry was following them because she couldn't be without her best friend. Laura was pretty sure that the two were secretly dating but she was not going to bring it up.

*****

As soon as she got to Laf’s house she had unpacked her Doctor Who onesie as it was a movie night and she would be damned if she was caught dead in anything other than comfort. It was still a little big on her but not as big as it was when she had got it. Every time she put it on it made her feel closer to Carmilla, where ever she may be at, or what she was doing. She always wondered if Carmilla ever thought about her in little moments but she doubted it.

“Okay Laura we have The fly or moth man first.”

“Moth man definitely.”

“Cool.”

She was really going to miss them when they left to college but not for to long she would only have to be without them for a year as she planned on going to Silas U too because they had one of the best journalism programs in North America and a wonderful English program.

*_*/*_*

Carmilla pov

1 year 5 months ago (AGE 17)

She had just gotten home from her summer job and was about to jump in the shower when her phone rang. She sighed it was probably Kirsch reminded her about something not really important. She looked at the number it wasn’t one she recognized. Confused as to who this was she picked it up.

“Hello.” She answered

“Hello.” The person greeted

“Can I help you?” she asked

“Oh right I was looking for some one who might have had this phone number a couple years ago and I don't know if you would happen to know anything about that.” They said

“Um may I ask who it is your looking for?” she was growing annoyed.

“Carmilla” They say.

She suck in a sharp breathe. Only few people knew her by her given name but she was sure she didn't know this person.

“Who are you? And how do you know that named?” she asked a little frazzled

“I know that name because she used to be an old friend of mine and I was looking to connect with her possibly. I'm Lafontaine.” They said.

She stood shocked at the revelation. She hadn't heard from them for seven years and here they were speaking to her. She didn't know what to say or do. Why now? What could they want from her after not talking to her for seven years? Why did they call her at all? Was she finally going to get some answers on the question that have been playing in her mind for the past seven years? Was she finally going to have closer in that part of her life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bother me on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous


	9. Somethings change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have a pov switch to how Kirsch and Lafontaine deal with things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys i am truly sorry for taking so long. After my aunt passed I had went back to a dark place in my life and couldn't get the chapter to my liking. I had lost all of my motivation and had forgotten where i wanted to go with this story. But i am better now and am getting back on track. So i hope you like the chapter. I really appreciate your comments and your support got me through so thank you all deeply.  
> ***** =small time jump in pov  
> *_*_*_*_ =pov change  
> *_*/*_* = time jump and pov change

1 year 9 months ago (AGE 17)

Kirsch pov

He felt horrible. He had been out on a date with Danny when Carmilla had call him and he had ignored it. So when he heard the message he dragged Danny into his pick up and drove to her side as fast as he could. When he and Danny got to the house. He grabbed the spare key kept in a rock and unlocked the door.

“Why are we in Carmilla's house again?” Danny asked

“Became she told Ell and she walked out on her.”

“Oh shit.”

At that Danny sprinted up the stairs He smiled and followed her. No matter how many time they denied caring about each other they sure acted like they did. He was grateful that they finally got along after so many years. When he got to Carmilla's room Danny had burst into the room. Carmilla jumped a little at the sudden person entering her room. She was at her desk with what looked like a letter she was writing. Upon seeing familiar faces of her friends, she rolled her eyes and went back to writing whatever she was writing before. When she turned back to them and raised an eyebrow in questioning.

“I got your message. What happened?” He asked

“I really don't want to talk about it but the jest of it was that I'm a freak and she can't be with me anymore. It's whatever.” She said

He knew she was hiding how she was feeling behind being aloof. And the look that Danny had on her face told him that she seen it too. The person in front of him was cold and distant like when she had first moved here, not trusting anyone. He was not going to let that happen. He needed to help her get out of the funk she was in.

He signaled to Danny that he was going to make a phone call and left the room. He made a few phone calls he arranged something that would for sure get Carmilla out of this funk. He sent a text to Danny tell her the plan and thanking the lords that it was Friday.

When he got in the room Danny was already busy going through Carmilla's draws for some clothes.

“What are you doing Xena? And why does Kirsch have that look on his face?” Neither of them said anything.

Danny piled up some clothes on the bed grabbed a bag from the closet and putting them inside with Carmilla's keys to the house. She looked to him and nodded putting the bag around her shoulder.

“What are you guys……?”

Before she could finish Danny and him rushed her. He knew that she could probably take one of them but she couldn't take both of them at the same time. Danny grabbed her torso and he grabbed her legs. She was struggling to get away from them but they had a tight grip on her.

“Put me down you dimwits.” She yelled at them still struggling.

“No, you are coming with us whether you like it or not.” He grunted as she had freed a leg from his grip and kicked him in the chest but her regained control and began leading them out of the room. He locked the front door after Danny was out.

“If you would of just asked, I might have let went with you voluntarily. No need for kidnap.” She said a little defeated only putting up a little bit of a struggle.

“We all know that you wouldn't have.” Danny says. Carmilla just grunted in return.

He got in the truck first still holding Camilla's legs. He scooted all the way over from the passenger seat to the drivers seat. Danny let go of Carmilla but blocked her path with her body and the door of the truck so she couldn't run away before getting in so that Carmilla was between them.

*****

The ride was quite because none of them knew what to say. Him and Danny knew what was going on but Carmilla was completely in the dark. They were on the road for an hour and a half because of traffic to which Carmilla complained about when her sighs and grunting wasn't enough anymore. When they finally pulled up to the destination, Carmilla saw what it was and automatically brightened. Her eyes lit up her scowl turned into a dopey grin, she looked like a kid in a candy store.

“I still don't understand how you have never been to Disneyland, when we live so close.” He said with a smile.

“How? What?” Carmilla couldn't form proper words.

“My cousin works here. I gave him a call and he got us tickets and we're going to stay at his place tonight and tomorrow night before we head back Sunday evening. It was his day off so he will be showing us around today. My dad is bringing a bag for me and Danny tonight so we have fresh clothes tomorrow and Sunday.” He explained

“Kirsch I don't know what to say. But thank you.”

“You're welcome. I know you were going to brood after what happened if I didn't do something about it soon. Now let's go find my cousin.” He said smiling (it was rare for Carmilla to show gratitude to a person and didn’t really show to much emotion so this was over kill for her) and getting out of the car.

After six years of friendship they were closer then ever.He understood why she was the way she was. And now that he had witnessed the affect of someone not excepting her, twice now. He'd be damned if he was going to let it happen again. He was going to protect her from that ever happening again. From here on out her secret was going to be a secreted thing that only people who cared and loved her no matter what.

*_*/*_*

7 months ago (AGE 19)

Lafontaine pov

“Ugh I hate this. There is so much stuff to pack. It's taking to long.” They said collapsing on their bed with their arms stretched out.

“Well sweetie if you stopped complaining and actually helped it wouldn't take so long.” Perry chastised

“But its no fun to actually do work.” They whined.

“At least you could organize the drawers of your desk. While I pack the rest of your clothes. That is the only thing we didn't do last year.” She said

“Fine. I can do that.”

They were packing and cleaning their room for when they went back to college next week. They were looking forward to Laura joining them and Perry this year. They went to their desk pulled the first drawer out and went throw all the old papers from projects, test, and homework they had kept, tossing out most of it. When they finally were almost done with the last drawer they stumbled on a letter that was unopened. They furrowed their brow and flipped it over to see who it was from. It was a letter from Carmilla but they had thought they opened all her letters that she had sent. They looked over to Perry to see her busy organizing some clothes into a box perfectly. Then look back at the letter, they tear the letter open and begin reading it.

_Dear Laf,_

_Lafontaine I was wondering if you could tell me if Laura is mad at me. Did she tell you anything about a letter that I wrote her? Did she tell you anything about a letter that she wrote me saying that she did want to write me anymore? I'm sorry that I have to ask you all this and maybe don't want to talk to me either because I didn't tell you. But I had to get in touch with someone if Laura wasn’t going to answer me back. I hove you forgive me for not saying anything before I left. I just got a cell phone so give me a call if you feel like. MY number is (323) 478- 1698_

_From Carmilla_

_P.s. I miss you guys so much I just really want to here from any of you. Keep in touch if you want._

They remembered why they hadn't read this letter but now that they had read it they were confused. Why did Carmilla ask if they knew anything about Laura not wanting to write her, if she was the one that told Laura that she didn't want to write anymore. They now had more questions about everything. They decided the only way to get answers they would have to call Carmilla and talk to her after all these years and get them. But they couldn't do it alone.

“Hey Perr? Can you come over here?” They asked

“Sure honey.” She said to them getting off the floor and crossing the room towards them.

“Take a look at this.” They said handing her the letter. She took it and started reading it. She furrowed her brow as she went on. When she finished, she looked at them confused.

“When did you get this?” she asked

“A couple of weeks after Laura got her last letter. I didn't read it because I thought it was the same kind of letter she had got.”

“But this is the opposite of that letter.” She said

“I know. I want to see if that number she put on there still works.”

“Are you sure you want to call her?”

“I need answers Perr, we all deserve to know what happened.”

“Okay. What happens if the number doesn’t work?”

“Then it was never meant for us to have answers.” They grab their phone and dialed the number. After three rings someone picks

 _“Hello.”_ The person greeted

“Hello.”

 _“Can I help you?”_ The person asked

“Oh right I was looking for some one who might have had this phone number a couple years ago and I don't know if you would happen to know anything about that.” They said

 _“Um may I ask who it is your looking for?”_ The person asked

“Carmilla” They say They heard the person suck in a sharp breathe.

 _“Who are you? And how do you know that named?”_ The person asked with slight panic in their voice.

“I know that name because she used to be an old friend of mine and I was looking to connect with her possibly. I'm Lafontaine.” They said

There was silence on the line for a few minutes. Then the person cleared their throat.

 _“Laf?”_ The person asked quietly.

They were pretty sure it was Carmilla that they were talking to.

“Yeah. Hey grumpy pants.” They say going back on the nickname they had for her.

 _“Hey Lafonbrain.”_ Her voice broke a little.

They had tears in their eyes when then they heard her voice break. They were so happy to finally hear for their friend they had lost so long ago when she moved away. They sniffled and wiped their eyes. They took the phone and put it on speaker so Perry could hear the rest of the conversation.

“Guess who's here with me?” They asked

“Hello Carmilla. How are you?” Perry asked

 _“Oh my god. Curly sue. I'm doing okay.”_ She responded

“I can't believe we're really talking to you right now.” They said.

 _“Yeah me either. Um can I ask how you got my number and why you called? Not that I'm not happy to here from you but I'm really confused as to why after all these years you want to talk to me.”_ She said

“Well I was going through some stuff and I found a letter you sent me, the last one that you ever sent, I never read it because I thought it was the same kind of letter that you sent Laura. But when I read it, it didn’t make since to me, it had brought up a lot of questions. I got your number from the bottom of the letter. ”

_“Oh. What kind of questions? ”_

“So, why did you just stop writing us. And don’t tell me that you were to busy bullshit. Because you were writing Laura every day then you just stop and then a couple of weeks after she got your letter telling her that you were to busy to write anymore.”

“ _Wait what? No I would never it would have hurt me to much to give up on her like that, she was my best friend. The letter I sent was telling her about my change and the reason for it. I thought that she didn't want to write because she didn't want anything to do with someone like me. She had basically given up on talking to me. But I have never stopped writing her no matter what.”_

“Laura would have never wrote you a letter telling you she had given up on you. She had been so devastated When that letter had came and no more had come with an explanation. To be honest we were all hurt by the letter.” Perry said

“Wait, you say that you still write, how come Laura never gets anything. And what change did you write about? We want the truth no more vague answers.” They said

_“Okay. Fine. But one condition.”_

“What?”

_“Please no questions until the end.”_

“We can do that.”

They sat through her whole story of how she had move to the states change her name, how she presented herself, and her gene deformity that had caused all the change in her life. They were never going to judge her on anything. They my have wanted to test her blood to see if they could figure it out but they had shook away the thought. She had told them that she had written a letter telling Laura all this but had gotten a letter from her telling her she was to busy to write Carmilla. She told then that she never stopped writing about her life everyday.

_“But I never get a reply from her. My friends think I'm crazy to do it still. But its all ready a habit for me. So that’s my story take it how you may.”_

“Wow. So you have never given up.” It was more than a statement more than a question. They could hear how sincere she sounded and believed every word she had said.

_“Yeah.”_

“So in lighter news. What have you been doing with your life? Are you going to college?”

_“Yeah I am. I got a full scholarship to Silas U with my best friend so that's awesome. And my mom has an apartment a few blocks away from the school that she had bought when Mattie went there that she is letting us stay at for free. What about you guys?”_

“Your not going to believe this but me and Perry are going into our second year at Silas. And… um…. Laura is going to start there too.”

_“Oh.”_

“Maybe we can all get together sometime, it would be fun.” Perry suggested. There was a pause on the other end of the line.

“ _Um I would love to see you guys but um Laura can't know who I am. You guys can't tell her, please. I want to be the one to tell her but I cant just drop it on her. I want her to kind of figure it out herself.”_

“What are you going to do?” They asked

_“Probably something stupid.”_

“Just promise me not to hurt her in the process, please.” They said

_“Okay, I promise.”_

Soon after that they hung up with her, a little overwhelmed with emotions with the amount of information they had received. But had a promise of reuniting with they hadn't seen in almost eight years. They were happy to have some answers. They were skeptical about her plan because they didn’t know what she was going to do but they trusted her enough to not hurt Laura more than she had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note Carm is really not good at keeping her secret a secret if you notice so Kirsch's plan on keep her from getting hurt is hard. Anyway bother me on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous

**Author's Note:**

> Post once or twice a week. Bother me on Tumblr if i dont post on time. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ultramysteriouslynervous


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